Bad Credit

In the past month I have taken two airline trips from Mexico to California, been to the Krogers in Georgia, filled up my car with gas in Atlanta, and purchased tickets at a racetrack. Does this sound like me? It was my credit card number walking around in the hands of a criminal who has somehow used two of my credit cards in the past month.

The first time was about a month ago, and I got a letter from a credit card of ours stating that there had been some unusual activity on our account, so they had frozen it until I called them. When I reached the fraud counselor, I found out that multiple airline tickets from Mexico to California had been purchased over a two day period using my credit card number. I still had both our cards in my possession, so we had no idea how the numbers were being used illegally. Luckily, the account was promptly closed, and we were not held liable.

Today, as I was leaving for church, I got another call from a different credit card stating that there had been unusual charges yesterday! Supposedly, someone had filled up for gas five times in one day in Georgia and gone to the racetrack with my credit card. Once again, both cards were still in our possession! The unusual thing this time was that the transactions were all made by swiping the card, so the criminal had to have a physical card! The bank said that these people know how to make duplicate, counterfeit cards, too!

Now, we are going to check our credit reports and be sure there are no problems there. I'm expecting yet another call in a few weeks stating that yet a third card has been compromised (that would probably exhaust our active cards). I wish I knew how these people got my credit card numbers because that is the scary part. How do you protect yourself if you don't know how they are obtaining information?

Lessons we've learned: be vigilent about your credit, read your bills closely to see if there is unusual activity, shred all financial documents, be sure to check your credit reports often, and place a fraud alert on your credit reports as soon as you have any trouble with identity theft. Thank goodness that both of our banks called immediately when they noticed a problem! I sure don't want to pay for a vacation that I never even took!

Her First Bow

I am not a girly mom; I have been used to parenting boys for the past 6 1/2 years. I have become accustomed to picking out a pair of jeans or shorts and throwing them together easily with a tee shirt or polo. The boys only own about 3-4 pairs of shoes at a time: tennis shoes, church shoes, sandals, and cleats (during soccer season). When the boys' hair begins to get long enough that we actually need a comb, then I know it's time for a haircut! I have been living in the world of primary colors, superheros, TMNT, Power Rangers, plastic swords and pretend guns, bugs, and Star Wars for the past several years, and I've loved it.

When we found out that Arden was going to be a girl, I was thrilled. I thought that was a perfect way to complete our family, so that we could experience both genders. Stuart was in shock for the first few weeks, as all he could think about was how expensive a girl would be. He was already contemplating how we would afford her prom dress and wedding before she was even born. I thoroughly enjoyed decorating a "shabby chic" nursery, complete with vintage florals and pink toile. I admit it -- I decorated the nursery for me. She will never really care what the room looked like, and she will never remember it. I loved picking out the pink fabrics and fulfilling my dream of a feminine room (see posted pictures).

Now . . . I am trying to figure out the clothing arena. There are so many choices with girls' clothes! Why do all the children's stores and boutiques allot 3/4 of the store to the "pink" section, and only have two racks of boys' clothes? Why do little girls have more shoes than I own? Why do girls need purses at the age of 3 and before they even have lipstick, cell phones, or wallets to put in them? What exactly do you do with leggings? I am still a bit confused by all of this.

Arden is now 4 months old. This seems like a big milestone where she is exiting the newborn stage. She is awake a lot more during the day, and last week she started going to Mother's Day Out at a nearby church on Tuesdays. She is already growing up. To commemorate this milestone, I decided to buy Arden her first bow. I had shied away from bows until now. It's not that I'm ethically opposed to them or anything, but I'm just so practical that I really didn't see the point since she has no hair. I didn't want anything that was "fussy" when I could barely get the basics like feeding and bathing accomplished. Now, after my first two nights of solid sleep, I felt empowered to branch out. I walked into The Toggery boutique and got a lesson on how to attach bows to a stretchy headband. The nice saleslady enjoyed teaching me how to layer bows (layering? who knew?) and the different ways they can be used on headbands, with ponytail bands, or in hair alone. I left the store with my purchase and felt much more prepared to mother a girl.

Arden looks adorable in her headband with little bow. For now, she is happily leaving it on her head, and I can enjoy feeling that I've accomplished the first rite of passage for moms of girls. Thankfully, I can worry about braiding hair later!

Now I lay me down to sleep (or not)

Sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture around the world. It was a tactic favored by the KGB and the Japanese in POW camps during World War II. Victims would be kept up for days on end, either for punishment or for the surrender of wanted information. Symptoms of sleep deprivation include irritability, clumsiness, lack of concentration, memory loss, blurred vision, alternations in appetite, tiredness, headache, and depression. In severe or extended cases, even psychosis or hallucinations can occur. In the popular movie The Bourne Supremacy, agent Jason Bourne was forced to stay awake for multiple days as part of the brainwashing to transform him into an assassin. Even in real life, sleep deprivation has been in the media recently. Actor Heath Ledger was interviewed shortly before his death and complained of problems sleeping while enacting the role of The Joker in the new Batman film. He stated that he could only sleep a couple of hours nightly, and that it had been a problem for some time. A few months later, he was found dead in his apartment from an drug overdose due to the interaction of several prescription drugs, including sleep aids. Doctors ruled the overdose accidental and a likely result of attempting to induce sleep.

Unfortunately, I have always needed a lot of sleep to function well. My ideal night is to sleep uninterrupted from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. -- a full 9 hours. If I get much less than 6 hours per night on a regular basis, I suffer from irritability, clumsiness, forgetfulness, and a chronic headache. It seems to be genetic, as my entire family seems to require a lot of sleep. When I married Stuart, it was a shock to find that he was an early riser, and I enjoyed sleeping until 10 a.m. on Saturday mornings! Well . . . all that changed when I became a mother.

I can count on one hand all the Saturday mornings that I have slept past 7:30 a.m. in the past six years, and now I have been up in the middle of the night for Arden's feedings for the past 16 weeks and 2 days. That's 114 days with interrupted sleep! Yes, it is beginning to take its toll on me, and I have found myself going through Excedrin bottles every two weeks to dull my chronic headache. I can't remember where I put anything, and sometimes I probably shouldn't be behind the wheel!

Another mom whom I know has told me about how she requires very little sleep -- only 4-5 hours per night. She routinely stays up until 1 or 2 a.m., while her kids are all sleeping, and she can still manage to get them to school on time. She cleans her house, makes handmade cards, scrapbooks, and sews handmade Halloween costumes in the middle of the night. If I were ever envious of someone's ability, it would be this! Ahh, to imagine what I could get done with an extra 4 hours per day while my children were simultaneously asleep! I could scrub my baseboards, purge all our files, plan our menu beyond one day, organize the garage, read my stack of unread novels, or start Arden's baby book before she begins kindergarten. Unfortunately, my body won't let me. The thought of scrapbooking at midnight right now is about as appealing as outpatient surgery!

We hope Arden will soon settle into a routine where she isn't waking to eat in the middle of the night. Every night, I pray that the baby monitor will remain silent and not wake me with screams of urgency at 3 or 4 a.m. I tried letting her "cry it out" this morning when she awoke at 3 a.m., but after 40 minutes, she was still going full force, so I gave up and fed her. She was happy after her feeding, but then I have developed the annoying problem of having insomnia after I am woken up. Arden crashes back into a delicious baby slumber, but I am left staring at my digital alarm clock as it turns 5:20, then 5:45, then 6:10, and then time to rise for the day before I ever get back to sleep.

There is one benefit to my current sleep deprivation: I am ready to be held hostage by the enemy and forced to endure sleep deprivation torture without revealing any top secret information about national security. If our government needs me, I can serve; I've been practicing every night.

Relay for Life

The American Cancer Society sponsors an annual fundraising event called Relay for Life. Most towns hold this event sometime in April or May. This is a major fundraiser that supports those who have had cancer, those who are fighting cancer, and for family and friends of those who lost the battle to cancer. The money that is pledged to those who walk or run is used for research, education, advocacy, and patient services with the intention of curing this terrible disease.

Relay for Life is held during the overnight hours. During every hour of the night, there will be at least one person from each team on the track either walking or running. I recently read a newspaper article about the reason for holding the event overnight, and it stated that, "The walk through the night symbolizes a person's battle with cancer. At first, things seem okay, and then it starts to get dark when someone begins to get sick -- sunset. Then the diagnosis comes, and that is when it is really dark -- night. Cancer treatment symbolically begins at about 2 a.m., around the time that exhaustion starts to set in. Exhaustion is complete; it's difficult to remain awake and going, right around 4 or 5 a.m. This symbolizes the treatment phase. Then, there is a little light on the eastern horizon, the light at the end of the tunnel. When the sun comes up, there is hope at the end of all the treatments. But, there is no finish line until a cure is found."

Additionally, there is an event called Luminaria during the race where bags filled with lighted candles are placed around the track. Each candle represents one person who has survived the battle with cancer, one who is now fighting that battle, or one who has lost. Survivors are then called to take a lap around the track. Any individual can sponsor a Luminaria bag in honor or memory of an individual who has faced this disease.

I didn't know much about the American Cancer Society or Relay for Life until my dad lost his battle to kidney cancer last year. One of my best friends, Kerrianne Coe-Renner, will be running on a team in Monrovia, California, in memory of her mom and my dad, who both lost their lives to cancer within months of each other. I hope that I can participate personally in the event next year when Arden is older. If you want to support this cause either financially or by participating in a local race, you can check out http://www.relayforlife.org/ to find an event in your area.

Our Little Rascal

Hudson has become quite the handful lately! Our quiet, sensitive little boy has turned into a tornado of energy, strong will, and assertiveness since he turned three. Just when I thought we escaped the "terrible two's" unscathed, we entered the terrible three's! I think God is definitely trying to teach me patience since all of these changes occurred right after I got pregnant with #3. Obviously God knew that if this had happened before another pregnancy, I would have rethought the whole idea of whether I could handle another child! I think God must have a sense of humor, but I know that He promises not to give us more than we can handle! Hudson and Owen now share a room, and they moved into bunkbeds together around Halloween. That has had both pro and cons. It's fun to see them playing well together and hearing them giggle and talk together once the lights are out at bedtime. It reminds me of "The Waltons" and their dialogue of, "Good night, John Boy" and "Good Night, Mary Ellen." However, Owen definitely needs his "space," so we often find him locking Hudson out in the hallway with Hudson crying and banging on the bedroom door to get in. All Hudson wants is to be with his big brother, and he has no concept or need for "alone time"! I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time resolving fights over who has whose sword, convincing Owen to let Hudson into the bedroom, or explaining to them why we don't dive off the top bunk and try to land on the beanbag chair!

Recently, Hudson has taken to climbing on the kitchen counters to get things that he needs or wants. We have been disciplining him for these acts and telling him that it's dangerous, against the rules, etc. The other morning, I noticed that Hudson had a package of Smarties candy in his fist, tightly hidden from me. These treats have been used as recent bribes for staying dry overnight in his underwear. I questioned him about where he got the candy (I knew the package of Smarties was in an upper kitchen cabinet and off limits to the kids). He looked at me very seriously and said that he got them from the kitchen cabinet. When I asked how he managed to reach them since he wasn't supposed to climb on the counters, he replied, "I have very long arms." I couldn't help but laugh!

Remembering Dad

My dad died over a year ago now. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was talking to him about all the construction issues of his new house in Arkansas. His engineering mind loved processing all the details about the building process, and one of our last in-depth conversations was about the details of his fencing. He died on January 11, 2007, and he never got to know that we were going to have Arden. Somehow, I still feel that he looks down from heaven and smiles. Small things are what make me sad: not being able to call him, knowing he will never hold his granddaughter, missing his laugh, not being able to talk to him about the classes I'm teaching. It is difficult to lose a parent, and I never thought I would lose mine in my 30's. I wish we could have had more time. Dad was a great example of how to follow God with all your heart. His death has inspired me to make each day count. I want to follow God with the reckless abandon that my dad did. His faith took him on the mission field and to many situations where there was no money or safety. That is scary, yet Dad had the privilege of knowing the true communion of a faith in God that doesn't rely on safety nets. He completely trusted his Lord as his best friend. That is the best example of faith a father can leave as his legacy.

Our Family of Five

Arden Frances Cearley arrived on December 27, 2007, after a frantic trip to the hospital where I arrived fully dilated! Stuart drove like a professional stuntman, and I seriously thought she was going to be born in the car. My third labor progressed very quickly, as I didn't desire natural childbirth (I was wheeled in to the labor room screaming for my epidural!). Arden weighed in at 6 lbs, 15 oz, and she has been such a blessing to our family already! She looks a lot like her brothers when they were her age; some days she is the spitting image of Owen, yet other times she looks like Hudson. She definitely has Owen's blue/green eyes, and she has copper colored hair so far. All the Cearley family members are hoping that her hair will stay red, as she would be the only grandchild with red hair to carry on the tradition from Stuart's side. She has been a really good baby so far; we are just now getting to the point where she is close to sleeping through the night, so that is good! She loves to swing and watch her brothers play. Hudson calls her "Arden Princess" (instead of Frances) and thinks that is her name! I'm enjoying having a girl, but so far, she hasn't been much different from the boys as infants. I'm sure the "girly" stuff will become more apparent when she starts playing and talking! I'm looking forward to buying her the Barbie Dream House that I never got as a child . . . I wonder if I will play with it even more than she will!