What were they thinking?

Boys. I don't understand them. They are impulsive, wild, physical, risk takers. I've taken many parenting Bible studies on how to parent boys. Yes, there was Real Boys, Raising a Modern Day Knight, Wild at Heart, and Bringing up Boys.

I still don't get it.

I try to set boundaries, rules, limits. Once I've set one, they might obey it, but in their boredom, they create a need for a new rule that I never even thought I'd need ("You do not put things in your brother's nose!")

Here are some of my recent experiences where I asked myself, "What were they thinking!?!":

I don't understand why two boys would try to urinate in the toilet at the same time, in some sort of race.

I don't understand why it is an immediate response to run away from Mom when she is stranded with the cumbersome baby stroller behind a set of heavy, double doors and proceed to run up and down all the aisles of the public library.

I don't understand why it is fun to jump on a couch after numerous punishments for doing so.

I don't understand why boys would unbuckle their seatbelts and decide to tackle each other while in a moving vehicle that is going 65 MPH down the highway, resulting in the mother having to pull the car over.

I don't understand why boys jump off the top bunk of a bunkbed to try to land on a beanbag chair.

I don't understand why boys would climb onto the top of our new minivan while it was parked in the garage and pretend it was a mountain.

I don't understand why the couch cushions have to be thrown off the couch every time they play any game.

I don't understand why boys think potty language is so funny.

I don't understand why boys have to take off their shirt and/or their pants when playing indoors.

I don't understand why boys would try to throw the bowling balls at each other when bowling.

I don't understand why boys find it hilarious to chase each other around the house and try to pull the other's shorts down.

I don't understand why every toy becomes a weapon.

I don't understand why there is no indoor voice.

I guess I don't understand because I'm a girl . . . but I'm learning to appreciate the differences!

Anita Renfroe in Little Rock!

My favorite Christian comedian Anita Renfroe is going to do a concert in Little Rock on August 23 at Church at Rock Creek. Tickets are $25 in advance and $30 at the door. Doors open at 6 p.m, and the show begins at 7:00. Anita Renfroe is well-known as a contributor to many Christian magazines and on Good Morning America. Her song "Momsense" has over 2 million hits on YouTube, and she always describes the role of woman, wife, and mother with hysterical truth. I saw her last year at the Women of Faith conference. She has several books and DVD's. Her newest DVD is titled, "It's probably just my thyroid!" You can purchase tickets by linking there from her tour calendar on her website http://www.anitarenfroe.com, at Church of Rock Creek bookstore, or Mardel's locations. I hope to attend the concert, and I hope you will announce it at your church and to your friends! It should be a great night of laughter!

No Fear

Fear has held me back from taking many risks in my life. I have probably missed out on many great opportunities that God had for me because I was too scared to walk through His open door. Instead, I planted my feet firmly and convinced myself that I was in the right place, that I was content, and that I was safe.

I remember meeting a young newlywed couple many years back. Stuart and I invited them over for dinner after they had visited our Sunday school class. They informed us that they were moving out of state in a month. They didn't have jobs in Phoenix yet, but they had always wanted to live there. It had always been their favorite place -- their dream. So, they were going. They were just going to quit their jobs, leave their security in Arkansas, pack up their stuff, and move to Arizona. They believed that things would fall into place once they got there. It would be an adventure, they said. At the time, I remember thinking that they were crazy. Who would do that? Wasn't it irresponsible? Shouldn't you have everything planned and lined up before moving across the country?

Since then, God has been working to change my perspective. It began when He peeled my tight grip off my life in Little Rock and slowly but surely changed my circumstances, so that I would have to let go. My church. gone. My job. gone. Stuart's job. gone. Close friends. gone. Little by little, we realized that God wanted a different future for us. We had been so intent on making our life work in that one place that we were missing the big picture.

Finally, we listened.

We left and followed God to a temporary job just 30 minutes away that has now led us to be in this community for five years. During this time, God has continued to teach me that He intends to bless us and give us jobs, relationships, ministry, children, financial provision, BUT (and this is important!), we must not hold onto anything too tightly. We must enjoy it for what it is, but we must always walk in close communion with God to know when He wants us to give up those items for something else. The minute that we feel that we can't surrender those things and that they control us, then they are no longer working for His glory anymore.

The biggest influence on my perspective occured in January 2007. My dad died. If you have never lost a parent, then it is impossible to explain how much of a void it creates, especially when you are only in your thirties, and you want so much to see your own children know their grandfather. I felt much too young to feel so alone in the world. This one event has changed me forever. For the first time, I really saw how fleeting this life is -- I really got it. I saw my father's influence during his final months of life when friends from all over the world contacted him and told him what a difference he had made in their faith and their walk with God by his years as a missionary and pastor. I heard testimony after testimony about how my father had made a difference. During that time, I realized that I wanted to make that kind of a difference with my life, and I wasn't. Sure, people would come to my funeral and miss me, but I wasn't leaving a legacy. Not a real one.

One direct result of Dad's death is that it stirred my heart and made me willing to have another baby. Somehow, Dad's death made me examine my motives, my priorities, and know that there was still a little girl out there that needed to be in our family. I trusted that God would give me the strength to go through another potentially high-risk pregnancy, and God was faithful to us. Sadly, Arden will never meet her grandfather until heaven, but she will know the story that she was born as a direct result of his life. She is a part of his legacy, and hopefully of mine too.

Life is short. There are too many people who accept mediocrity as enough because of fear. I've been one of them. As Nichole Nordeman sings, "So long status quo. I think I've just let go. You make me want to be brave. The way it always was is no longer good enough." I am thankful that God has been changing my heart, so that I am hungry for more. I want to live beyond mediocrity. I want to see life as an adventure, and not as something to fear. I want to be willing to risk enough to make a difference. I want to experience Arizona sometime.

Our house and "Full House"

Do you remember Uncle Jesse, Aunt Becky, Michelle, Stephanie, and DJ? What about that Uncle Joey whose impersonations were never that funny? Ah . . those were the days back in televison land when Full House was popular. I remember watching this sitcom regularly with my family and thinking it was hilarious. Kimmy Gibler was the queen of sarcasm for a twelve year old, and little Michelle (aka the Olsen twins in their prime) was very cute when she's says, "You got it, dude!" Candance Cameron was the master of "big 80's hair" with bangs that could stand up 5 inches high! I remember thinking it would be great if my parents, siblings, two uncles, aunt, and two cousins could all live in the same house with me!

Owen has recently found this show in syndicate and thinks it is very funny. I am now hearing about all the plot storylines from episodes that he is watching and reliving the times when the Tanner family got Comet, when Michelle got to ride an elephant in her backyard for her birthday, when the family sang in Uncle Jesse's band, and when Kimmy handcuffed Stephanie and DJ together.

It sure brings back memories!

Bye Bye Blankie

Hudson has an attachment to his blankie -- two of them in fact! We started out with one, and then we bought an identical one "just in case." That one was supposed to be the spare for when the other was being washed or if it got lost. However, Hudson somehow found out there were two of them and captured them both at the same time. That was about two years ago, and now they have both been by his side at bedtime ever since.

Thankfully, he doesn't drag his blankie around the house or take it to preschool, but it is a definite necessity at bedtime. We've spent many hours looking for a lost blankie at bedtime, wishing we had a spare that was still hidden!

Lately, the blanket has seen better days. In fact, I don't think most people would recognize this long strand of fabric as a former blanket that was once a soft, satin rectangle, embroidered with the saying, "Go barefoot and follow your dreams." The letters have long fallen off, in pieces, the edges have come unraveled, and the interior batting has come out. Now, it just looks like scrap fabric that is matted and frayed.

Recently, we have gotten rid of one of the two blankets. It just "disappeared" one night, never to be found again. We are down to one, original blankie that Hudson declares is the best, sweetest smelling, softest thing in the world! We've offered to buy him a brand new, fresh, in-tact blanket that is just like this one (minus the holes, stains, odors, dampness, and missing batting). That was not an acceptable solution, as Hudson declared, "I like the holes!"

Hudson's desire to hold onto this old, torn, and tattered blanket made me think about how we often do that too. We frequently hold onto things in our lives that God wants us to give up or change because we like the comfort of the familiar. Hudson's blanket is comfortable; it has a history to him. But it doesn't mean that it's the very best thing that's out there! He is turning down a better blanket for an item which is worn out and tattered. Likewise, we are limiting God when we try to hold on with tight fists to our stuff, our jobs, our houses, our community, or any other item that we fear losing. God often has bigger and better things that He wants us to experience, if we could only let go and trust Him. If we could only see that there was a better "blankie" out there, or that maybe we really don't need the "blankie" after all.

Summer Fun!

We're trying to do a few activities each week to keep the kids entertained during these hot days of summer! We went to a place called Jump Zone in Maumelle last week which was a big hit. With a "buy one get one free" coupon from their website, both boys enjoyed almost two hours of play for a total of $7.00. Jump Zone is a huge building full of those large inflatable jumping things. They were much bigger than the ones that we've been on at local carnivals and church functions, so the boys were thrilled! Their favorite was a huge T-Rex dinosaur that you entered, complete with walls to climb and a slide that allowed you to exit down his belly!

Arden has been very good to allow us to tote her along to these places while all she can do is sit in her carseat carrier, which can't be that much fun! She hasn't fussed at all, and the boys have enjoyed having her along. They would play for ten minutes, run back to check on Arden, play for ten more minutes, return to give her a kiss, etc. It was sweet!

Arden seems to receive a lot of attention from strangers whenever we are out. I don't know why because I've had two other babies who never got that many comments when we were in public places. Is it something about being a girl? Usually, she has lots of moms and grandmas coming over to inquire about her name and age with the comments of, "She's so _____!" (sweet, cute, big, tall, and redheaded are the most common to complete the sentence). I think the cultural attitude of people paying a lot of attention to girls' appearances begins early!

First Tooth

Arden cut her first bottom tooth yesterday! The other bottom one is right behind it and should be making its debut soon. She has been a pretty unhappy little girl this past week due to teething. I thought she had an ear infection again and even took her to the pediatrician to have her ears checked. She's been waking up in the middle of the night crying, refusing to eat or take a bottle well, and running a low grade temp. The boys never found teething this painful, so this is a new one for us. It just goes to show that all kids are different! She is also the earliest of our three to cut her first tooth at just over five months old. The boys didn't get their first tooth until seven months old, so we weren't expecting this to occur so early.

Arden is also rolling over in both directions now and scared us (and herself) by rolling all the way off our bed the other day and landing on the floor which is a pretty far drop. Luckily, no injuries were sustained, but there were many tears! Hopefully, the pain of her first teeth emerging will end quickly, and we can enjoy seeing her smile with little white bottom teeth!

**Arden ("chunky monkey") weighed in at a whopping 17 1/2 lbs today when we went to the pediatrician's office!! The doctor didn't seem too concerned that she was skipping a few meals with teething! ha ha

Wanted: A Week Without Any Stress

Our lives are usually pretty hectic. Lewie Clark always jokingly says that things are never easy for the Cearley family. It seems that more often than not, we can't go much longer than a week before some stressful event occurs. Luckily, most are on the smaller scale.

This past week was, once again, full of those small, irritating things in life that cause stress. When you think of life and the big scheme of the universe, they aren't that important. However, it's hard in the moment "not to sweat the small stuff!"

First, and most significantly, we lost our video camera. We have no idea where it is. We know we used it a couple of weeks ago for Owen's track and field day, and we might have possibly had it with us on a few other outings where we didn't record with it. When we went to use it this weekend, we couldn't find it. We turned the house upside down, we looked in every nook and cranny of our cars, and Stuart drove to his office to check there. I called Channel 7 and Southside Elementary to see if it had been turned in to a lost and found. No luck. It's pretty much gone. We probably left it somewhere, and it got stolen. Neither Stuart nor I can exactly retrace every time we had it in the past two weeks, which just goes to show you that we are getting old and our memories aren't what they once were. It is so frustrating to lose something that was so expensive, but more importantly we have lost all the recorded memories of the kids that were on the tape. Those can't be replaced. If you're at a pawn shop near us and see a Panasonic camcorder for sale, please call us, so we can check the serial number!

Then, the very next day, our riding mower broke down. I always hate those unexpected expenses (right after the warrantee expires)! It is at the repair shop right now, and we are awaiting the news of how much the repair will destroy our bank account! We are hoping to get it back quickly (and cheaply) as our grass is now about a foot high!

Recently, Arden has been waking each morning by 5:45 a.m. Luckily, I figured out that covering her bedroom window with a heavy blanket to block the light will help her sleep for an hour longer in the mornings! I am not a morning person, and 6:30 a.m. is about the best I can do with a good attitude. But 5:45 a.m. -- in the summer! I was ready for a nap by 1:00 p.m.! Now, she is sleeping until 7 or so, but we have a hideous black blanket hanging in her formerly pastel "shabby chic" nursery that says "San Antonio Spurs" written across it. I'm going to have to convince Stuart that we need a pretty window treatment with blackout lining for her room . . . the blanket has got to go! Unfortunately, most guys don't value the same aesthetics as women. He thinks the blanket is fine and would rather get a Wii instead of drapes!

P.S. We went on our first excursion to Chuck E. Cheese this week (it was our very first time ever!). I found out that if you join their birthday club online, they will email you some coupons. I got a coupon for 100 tokens for $10.00. We arrived shortly after they opened at 9 a.m. and didn't order any food to save money. The games all take one token each, so we had enough for 100 games (10 cents each). After 1 1/2 hours, we had only used 60 tokens between the two boys, so we saved the remaining 40 tokens for another trip. I think that was the a pretty good entertainment value for $10.00!

Leapin' Lizards!

Arden has now begun to enjoy her newest toy -- the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo! This is a relatively new product that didn't exist when we had Hudson. I found it for 1/2 price on Craigslist and bought it from a nice person in Little Rock who also happened to work for Fellowship Bible Church! I always love to find deals like that, and it's especially neat when the person ends up being a Christian too.

This contraption is like a baby-size bungee jumper! Literally, it is a tray and seat held up by three fabric covered bungee cords. She can jump away without getting hurt. She is just now figuring out how to jump in it, and she isn't coordinated enough to work all the rainforest themed toys, but she already loves it. I wish I'd had something like this with the boys!

Summer is Here!

I haven't decided if I like summer or not! I think it scares me now! It used to be my favorite time of year when I was a teacher and before kids. Then, I had a full ten weeks off of work -- and I still got a paycheck! I remember the glorious days of sleeping in, doing house projects, meeting friends for lunch, going to the movies, attending wonderful English conferences all over the country, reading stacks of novels, taking trips with Stuart, etc. It was such FREEDOM!

Now, summer means I have three kids age 6 and under with me 24/7 for the next 12 weeks! Yikes! It means no more mother's day out until September. It means having to find a babysitter for every haircut, dental cleaning, and any other significant appointment I have for the next three months. It means taking all three kids to Walmart which takes three times as long! It means that I will have to be very vigilent about limiting their television and computer time every day. Now . . . summer is work!

But, it also means that we can have more relaxed time together as a family. We can eat dinner outside on our deck. We can lay around in our pajamas until 9 a.m. and be less strict about bedtime. We can enjoy playing outside in the yard. I can indulge in my regular Sonic Cherry Limeades -- which always taste best when it's over 90 degrees outside! All of the activities have stopped for the summmer, and there is no schedule imposed upon us by school, cub scouts, soccer, etc. For me, that means that I create a schedule (ha, ha). No, really.

If you see Owen, you can ask him how his summer "schedule" is going! He seems pretty excited that we have a set weekly schedule for TV viewing time, computer time, scheduled reading, and daily homework review activites! I wonder where he gets that need for organization?

I also came up with a plan to take the kids on an "excursion" or field trip once per week for the every week of the summer (I thought they should at least have a little fun!). They listed some places that they wanted to go, and we picked one for each week, and put them on the calendar (spreading out the more expensive ones). We will also try to find friends to go on some of our excursions with us, so that the boys can have play time with other kids their ages. At the top of our list is Chuck E. Cheese's which we are going to next Monday! Then, we have Jump Zone (a place full of those inflatable jumping things), The Wonder Place, Splash Zone, painting pottery, bowling, the zoo, Mcdonald's playground, etc. I'm clipping coupons for admissions as I can find them, and I've limited the budget to $60/month. I think it will be a lot of fun to have a new activity each week. Arden might get left with a sitter for some of the activities (like Splash Zone) since she's too young, but for the most part I will be trying to take three kids with me! Pray for me! If you're up to joining us, email me, so we can meet up on one of our outings.

Today is Owen's last day of school. Yes, we are the mean parents who made him attend on the last two half-days which were make up days for snow. That's just the teacher in me ("If school is in session, then you are going to attend!").

I hope your summer is full of new adventures and treasured memories with your kids! As Owen says, "May the Force be with you!"