Birds and Flies

My two nemesis of the summer are birds and flies! Seriously. I always liked birds until this spring when our covered porch has become the home to a bird's nest that is tucked up under the eave. At first, I thought it was cute as the mother bird was flying back and forth with all the straw, and it reminded me of the book The Best Nest as they built their home. Then came reality. The baby birds hatched, and I don't know if the original group is still in there, or if the mother bird had more eggs and began a second litter (what do you call baby bird groups?). Either way, they are still there . . . three months later! It wouldn't be so bad it if didn't interfere with using my nice, covered patio. The mother bird chirps at us constantly when we are near the nest (which is right above the table and chairs) as she guards her territory. I have had the parent birds swoop in and appear to dive at me in a rather aggressive way too. Then, there is the mess. Yes, bird droppings all over my patio chairs. We can't even sit down, and I've been hosing them down almost every other day. So, I have basically no outdoor living space because I am hosting baby birds. I keep thinking the nest MUST be empty by now, so I begin to get it down, but then a baby bird's head will pop up with a wide-open beak, thinking I'm its Mommy when it's really the Terminator. I can't take the nest down with a baby bird in it, so for now, the birds are winning.

Then, there are the flies. Is it always like this in NW Arkansas, or is it just my neighborhood? I've never had so many aggressive flies around before, and we have lived in Arkansas for 19 years! I can handle those pesty flies that land on your food, but these are flies that are determined to attack me. I have had one in my ear, on my eyelid, and flying into my face! I think I kill about 6 or more per day with the fly swatter, and there are still others that are evading me. It's a war zone outside, as these flies are swooping and buzzing all around my porch, and they were on kamakazi missions the other night at the neighborhood pavilion during our HOA meeting. Everyone was swatting and shooing the flies away constantly as they targeted our faces, and there was no food in sight. Is this some kind of a sign of end times or something? It somehow seems like it should be Biblical like the locusts.

So far, I'm not faring well this summer with anything that has wings. Good thing I'm not flying anywhere by plane!