Smiles and Tears

Hudson had a large fall on Saturday that resulted in a goose-egg size knot on his forehead! He was apparently trying to jump from couch to couch (against house rules!) and fell headfirst on the edge of the wooden couch leg. Normally pretty tough, he cried quite a bit over this injury, and Stuart and I fretted over whether he had a "traumatic head injury." We spent several hours watching him and asking him things like, "How many fingers am I holding up?" and "Do you feel dizzy?" Luckily, it appears that he suffered no permanent damage and doesn't have a skull fracture!

Arden finally has enough hair for a little bow now! Isn't she cute! The boys can't get enough of her, but that might change once she gets mobile and figures out how to get into their stuff! She has had her own tears lately due to more teething . . . she is cutting her 7th and 8th teeth now. She appears to have little tolerance for pain and spends 7-10 days crying in the middle of the night every time we cut a tooth. Stuart says it's just the drama of being a girl!

A Stash of Cash

I never, ever used to carry cash. My reasoning was that I might lose it. My purse might get stolen. I might spend more if the money was readily available. It was too much trouble to get to the ATM. My handy debit card, credit card, and checkbook became the only way that I ever paid for anything, and our society made it very easy for that to work.

That would soon change.

Last week I took out several hundred dollars at the ATM. Cash. All mine. Okay, not really all mine. This cash had to pay for every Walmart purchase, all the groceries, the boys' haircuts, my Joico hair product at the salon, Owen's school lunches, Arden's prescription, stamps, and anything else that I needed for the next two weeks.

Suddenly, the stash of cash didn't look like it would last very long.

The reason behind this experiment that I've embarked on (and dragged Stuart into, as well!) is that I am trying to be more frugal and stretch our budget. With gas costs, food increases, and the costs of adding a third child, we are really stretching our budget pretty thin these days. I added up how much Arden has added to our monthly budget, and it is an extra $950 per month! Good thing I didn't know that when I was thinking of having baby #3, or I might have changed my mind! That includes her formula, baby food, baby cereal, a month's worth of diapers and wipes, monthly prescription, two days per week of childcare while I work, and the new car payment which came as a result of needing a car that would seat three kids in carseats. She costs more each month than our mortgage!

Anyway, each month I have been frustrated when I have a budget on paper, but it gets completely ruined when the credit card bill arrives. We never, ever carry a balance and have no credit card debt (thankfully), but the bill has gotten bigger and bigger each month and harder to pay. Afterwards, there was no money left for savings. I knew this had to change. We had to make the money we earned stretch further.

I would scrutinize the credit card bill, sure that there was a $500 error somehow that was causing the balance to be so high. Unfortunately, there weren't any big charges on it. Just pages and pages of small ones that added up to more than $500 over what I'd budgeted. Who knew that we charged things at Walmart over 10 times each month? The small charges of $4 and $5 for books, coffee, McDonalds, etc. ended up adding up to $258!

I recently saw an inspirational news clip on Yahoo about this family that decided to use cash completely for one month, as studies have shown that people spend 25-30% LESS when they have to pay with cash (opposite of my theory that I would spend more!). I looked up the Christian financial guru Dave Ramsey that Stuart had heard speak last year, and then I dusted off his book The Total Money Makeover that we'd never read . . . and I read it. In one day. Then, I ordered Dave Ramsey's super, duper "deluxe" envelope system wallet to organize my cash and record my expenditures (it just looked cool and made this whole frugal thing seem more stylish, and it was on sale 1/2 off!)

Luckily, we are ahead of most Americans since we have no credit card debit, but I was determined to have no unexpected, large credit card bill arrive in a one inch thick envelope every month. I've decided not to go 100% cash on everything, and I'm still paying for our set monthly bills electronically, and we are still using our credit card for gasoline at the pump (I can't imagine taking three young children into the gas station to pay cash every time I had to fill up!). However, all the areas where we typically overspend such as "miscellaneous," "food," or "household" expenses get paid with cash. When we run out, we run out. I'm trying to live more aware of how every dollar is spent, but I'm not at the extreme point where I'm making my own deodorant or granola!

I've actually gotten on http://allrecipes.com/ to search for ingredients that I had on hand to match with existing recipes, so we can eat the food already in our cabinets. Stuart and I rolled about ten rolls of quarters the other night. I returned a couple unused things at Walmart that were never opened, and I used the money for food. I bought my first large grocery shopping at Walmart this week and paid cash. I think they thought I was a drug dealer as I counted out my twenty dollar bills in a large pile!

I'm excited about the challenge. I think it is making me spend more consciously and not just slap down the credit card when the checking account gets low. Hopefully, next month there will be the reward of the nice, thin credit card envelope arriving in the mail . . . with only gas charges on it. Then, I'll feel like it's worth it!

A Legacy

I just started back to work teaching four sections of Composition I two weeks ago, and it just dawned on me today that I am beginning my 16th year of teaching.

Wow . . . when did I get so old?

I've been teaching since I was 23 years old. I have spent 2 years in a public junior high (now I know why those are the jobs they give the "new" teachers!), 8 years in a private preparatory high school, and I am beginning my 6th year as a college instructor. I've taught students who could hardly read above the 3rd grade level to ones who went on to Ivy League colleges; I've taught gang members during summer school with the Little Rock School District while a guard stood outside my door; I've taught pregnant teenagers; I've taught National Merit Scholars; I've taught college students who are old enough to be my parents.

It's been a wonderful, crazy, busy, and exciting ride!

Teaching has definitely been my calling and my passion. From the time I was little, I remember playing school and recycling old workbooks and making my siblings do them for "fun." I had dreamed of teaching college when I was in high school, only then to "settle" for a job as a high school teacher because there wasn't a way for me to pursue my doctorate degree after I got married and lived in Little Rock. It turned out to be the very best thing I ever did, as I found a great niche as a high school teacher, and I feel that I really got to make a difference during those years. Ironically, God has allowed that dream to come true in a different way than I ever imagined, as I currently teach at the college level and can work from home to be with my young children. I've had the best experiences being a teacher. It's never been like a job to me; it's been a part of who I am -- a product of my upbringing, a part of my innate need to connect with people and help them learn. As Stuart says, it's a way for me to use up the 10,000 words that I have to get out every day! Without it, I don't think I would feel as useful in the world. I am so grateful that I can still combine teaching with raising my children, and when they are ready, I will reenter the classroom as a full-time faculty member once again.

I started thinking about the students whom I've taught over the years, and the ones that I've seen as adults and where life has taken them. One of my former ninth grade students is a pharmacist now. He filled my prescription for me at Walgreens one night very late when I had a sick baby with an ear infection. He talked to me through the drive-thru lane with the sliding drawer and asked if I was the same "Mrs. Cearley" from Sheridan Junior High. It felt a bit strange to have to look up at him from my car while he gave me directions about the medication, and I smiled at the role reversal. He reminisced about how he loved my class and asked about my family. He seemed to have fond memories of my class, and I was proud to see that he had turned out so well.

Another student had a difficult and often explosive relationship with her mother. She took several classes with me, and it was always a challenge because the mother was often overinvolved. The student got pregnant during her first year in college. No one was surprised because I had heard several teachers say that she probably got pregnant just to have a way to escape her overbearing mother. She dropped out of college to marry the father, and now she lives near me. I run into her every few months at the soccer field, library, or a consignment sale. She's now been married for eight years, and she just had her fourth baby, but she said she still can't bring herself to call me by my first name; I'm still "Mrs. Cearley." She is such a great mom and shows genuine pleasure and interest in her kids. I visited with her husband at a library party this summer, and he really shows maturity for his young years. He's about to begin a term as a city councilman, and he is a very involved father. They are actively involved in a local church, and I am so proud of this student for turning her rocky start into a stable and loving home.

Another one of my favorite students was arrested last year for selling drugs. It was a widely televised arrest, and I saw his picture flash on the news repeatedly, and my heart broke for him. Initially, I was shocked. He had so much potential. What happened? I remember the talks we'd had, and how he had such severe ADHD that many teachers couldn't stand him being in their class. He liked English and was good at it, so his ADHD never bothered me. He had always seemed so naive and a bit immature, not at all like a person who would become a drug dealer in the next five years. I remember that he ate pencils and tore apart the plastic covers on 3-ring notebooks (literally) because he had such nervous energy. I routinely had to clean up the floor under his desk after he left class because of the debris he'd leave behind. But, he had such natural intelligence, good looks, and charisma. I remember thinking that he'd find his niche in college because high school was hard for him socially. I knew he didn't have a good relationship with his father, who was a very public personality in our community. On his final day of class with me, he sent me flowers. Now he is in jail.

Not all the stories with my students turn out well, but most do. I enjoy running into former students and seeing them grown. I read the Sunday social section to see if I recognize names of former students in high society listings or wedding announcements. Just last December, I was at the OBGYN office for one of my final checkups before I delivered Arden, and I heard an excited voice behind me say, "Mrs. Cearley?" I turned my huge belly in the direction of the voice, and came face to face with a former student who was also pregnant (with her 2nd child). She was probably 25. I was 37. Not to mention that she was as beautiful as a model and still looked trendy even when pregnant! We were both pregnant, but I was way too old for it! She laughed that we were pregnant together, and I enjoyed catching up with her. She is a great Christian mom who is staying home to raise her girls, and she reflected on my English class and all she enjoyed about it. She gave me the news on her classmates whom I also taught, and who is married, who is pregnant, etc.

When she was called out of the waiting room for her appointment, we hugged goodbye. I smiled as I watched her walk away. It felt really good. I felt like I had made a difference, and years later I hadn't been forgotten. Arden kicked inside my belly at the same time, and I laughed. I guess there are are a couple of ways that I'm leaving my legacy!

School resumes!

We survived the first week of school!

It was a tiring week as we attempted to get three kids to bed earlier and up and out the door by 7:40 every morning. Adding that third child has really made it harder to get everyone fed and dressed! Owen is in 2nd grade at a local, public elementary school where he has attended the past two years. Hudson returned to the Methodist church pre-K program on Tuesdays and Thursdays which he also went to last year. Arden didn't get a spot at the Methodist church where Hudson attends due to their lengthy waiting list, so she began part-time childcare at Faith Baptist Preschool on Tuesday and Thursdays. It's a lot of work dropping kids of at three different schools, but luckily they are all within a mile of each other and all near our house. I returned to my part-time job as an adjunct instructor of composition at a local college this week as well, so I simply swapped my busy schedule of having all the kids home during the summer for 100 college students!

Owen loves his class! It helps that his best friend from first grade also got the same second grade teacher (there are 4 classes of second grade at his school). His teacher Mrs. Arnold is a seasoned 27 year teaching veteran with lots of creative ideas. Owen likes her introduction of "Arnoldville" where the kids get weekly "jobs" and earn salary in "Arnoldbucks." Then, they get to use math skills to redeem their money at the local "Arnold-Mart." Owen said they get their first job assignment tomorrow along with their new wallets! That almost makes me want to be in second grade!

Hudson also has veteran 13 year experienced pre-K teacher at the Methodist church. They have a strong curriculum with weekly themes, centers, chapel, P.E., computer, and music class. He would love to attend every day, if we could afford the tuition! However, I am still enjoying having him home with me for one last year before he goes to kindergarten every day next year. It's also good for him to have more time to play with Arden the rest of the week since he will miss that next year. So far, Hudson has made an easy transition to a new teacher and loves his school! The only issue we had during this last week is that Hudson began to break out in hives on Tuesday (first day of school) and has had them off and on ever since. We are now on day 6 of hives! We are giving him Benadryl every 6 hours of so, and that erradicates them until they reappear. Our pediatrician said it looks like an allergy due to something being ingested, but we are having a hard time pinpointing the trigger, since he hasn't had anything new that we know of. His new breakouts have each been occurring after different foods, so it's very confusing. Pray that we can solve this puzzle!

Arden is in a great, loving childcare environment on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was a bit hesitant at first, since this is my first time to leave here anywhere. I only began putting her in our church nursery on Sunday mornings in the last month! The facility is brand new, and it's a new program. She has a wonderful teacher, and the best part is that there are routinely only 2-3 babies in her room at a time! She is frequently the only baby for several hours during the time she's there. She gets lots of one-on-one love for those two days each week, and she is always happy and content when I pick her up in the afternoon. She now has six teeth, is sitting up well, can roll all around the room, waves bye-bye on occasion, and says "mamamama." It's hard to believe that she only has about 4 more months of being a "baby" before she becomes a walking toddler!

The kids are already excited to return to school for the second week, so it's been a good start so far!

Confusion

I am confused . . . confused about God's direction and purpose. Confused about what we are supposed to do right now as a family.

I thought God was being so clear in His leading over the past month. Doors seemed to be flying open to lead Stuart in a new career direction. So many things happened supernaturally to get us to the point of feeling that God was about to open a door for a new opportunity, then it just slipped away. The open door slammed shut all in one day.

I had thrown myself emotionally and physically into the belief that THAT was the plan. I had a one-inch thick file of information about that new community, just in case we had to move there. We had looked at houses (I had a particularly cute one that I really liked). I was already picturing my furniture in the new floorplan. I had called churches about Mother's Day Out programs. I had seen the potential school that Owen would attend. I was excited about the Target that was under construction just miles from "our new house." We visited a church there that seemed like a perfect fit. The sermon was on exactly the topic we had been praying about . . . being open to change and taking risks to follow God. It was perfect . . . too perfect.

Why didn't it work out?

I still feel raw from the disappointment of the letdown. I feel like I saw God's plan unfolding, but that we lost hold of it. The reality is that it obviously wasn't God's plan to start with. We just thought it was. However, that makes me wonder if I can tell when God is really working or not. Did I imagine all the "open doors"?

Now, we are back to the original place of the unknown. The dark, scary place where the clock seems to be ticking while we try not to worry about job security. The uncertain place when we don't know the answers or the time frame.

I know in my heart that God will provide a clear direction and a path for us to a place where He wants us to settle. Answer soon, Lord, answer soon.

"Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. " Psalm 107: 4-7

Tried and True Baby Items

After having my third baby last year, I have now gone through quite a lot of baby products. I found some items that I loved back when I had Owen seven years ago, and some items are ones I just recently discovered, or they are newly on the market. I enjoy "testing" out products and finding things sold resale to save money. I think another career I'd enjoy is to be a tester for Consumer Reports magazine (which I subscribe to and follow religiously!).

Here are a few products that I really enjoy with Arden. If you are currently pregnant or might be in the future, then I would recommend any of them. They are also great ideas for baby gifts!

1. Bella Tunno pacifier holder: cute ribbon with metal clip. Attaches to paci with velcro. Each to use and machine washable. Very durable from my experience. About $8 at Pickles and Ice Cream or other boutiques

2. Robeez! I can't say enough about these wonderful leather crib shoes for pre-walkers. I began using them with Hudson and now with Arden. I usually use 0-6 and 6-12 month sizes exclusively before putting my kids in hard-soled shoes when they begin walking. I own about 3-4 pairs in each size. I buy them gently used off Ebay for around $12-14, then I resell them for $8-10, so they hardly cost me anything. There are some off-brands (like at Target) that I've never tried, but they won't resell nearly as well as the Robeez brand. So, ultimately it is still cheaper for me to buy the name brand and be able to get money back later. I wash mine in the washing machine and line dry, and I've had no problems with durability. They stay on really well.

3. Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo. This is a newer baby item which is a jumper that is in a round frame with toys, lights, and sounds around the seat. Once Arden got to be 6 months, she absolutely loves it, and she can jump in it for an hour! It's a bit bulky in size, but it is worth it for how much she likes it. I bought it used for half price which I would recommend doing, since it's a bit pricey. Retail is $80.

4. JJ Cole System Diaper Bag: I am picky about diaper bags. They have to hold enough, but not feel too bulky. I won't like the bag if it hurts my shoulder or digs into it when I am carrying a full bag. I don't like double strap bags since one strap always slides off my shoulder. I need lots of pockets to stay organized. I don't want a bag with cartoons or a baby design. You get the picture. I have never really loved a diaper bag until now, and I have tried about six or more with three kids. This bag is pricey ($70), but I got mine cheaper on Ebay. I love the stroller straps that you can hook onto the handlebars, so the bag can clip to them. It makes it so easy to access the bag instead of putting it in the stroller basket underneath. It is lightweight, cute, and super comfy to carry with a padded strap. I've had no problems with durability or spot cleaning after 7 months. It even has an iPod pocket, but I use it for my keys since I don't own an iPod.

5. Boppy Pillow with removable cover: I have gone through two of these pillows. I definitely recommend the removable cover, so you don't have to wash the pillow itself. I did that with my first one, and it got lumpy. I still use this for bottle feeding, as it saves my arm and neck from getting stiff because I can just lay Arden on the pillow on my lap to feed her. cost $30-ish

6. Bumbo Chair. I never had one before Arden, and I found some good use for it. I wouldn't pay retail price of $40 for this chair, as I don't think it's worth that much money, but I got mine for $15 at a consignment sale. It was a great device to help her sit upright with support between 3-7 months old. We had problems with "flat head" from laying on her back so much, so this was a great chair to use to get her in a different position.

7. Whoozit Toy: All three of my kids have loved this toy in the infant stage. They crinkle it, chew the pink rings, squeeze the noze, etc. It's the perfect companion for a stroller or carseat. Mine has been washed countless times and is still being used after 7 years! Retail around $12

8. Barefoot Dreams Blankies: These are the best little blankies! All three of my kids have had them (and Owen still sleeps with his!). They wash well, and they don't fall apart unless you eat them (cough . . . Hudson). They come in satin or chenille. Retail around $24, but I got Arden's on Ebay for $10.

9. Pampers Cruisers Diapers: Yes, these are the premium and most expensive diapers. I have tried all the cheaper brands, and I still come back to these. They fit my kids the best and have the best overnight leak protection. I buy one big box per month at Sam's Club, and they last me all month. The average cost in that quantity is .22 cents per diaper for size 3, and I don't have to cut coupons. They aren't the cheapest, but they are the best, in my opinion.

10. Diaper Service Quality (DSQ) cloth diapers: I bought a bundle of these off Ebay, and they are the best burp cloths I've used. They wash well and hold up to lots of wear. They are so much thicker and softer than the Gerber cloth diapers at Walmart. These are the ones people use if they are really going to use cloth diapers for diapering! I sewed some ribbon to the bottom to decorate them, but they are fine just plain white. About $2.50 each.

11. Bumkins Bibs: For two children I bought the cheaper Target or Walmart brand vinyl bibs for highchair use/baby food feedings. They were cheap at 4 for $5.00, but they always got stiff, they weren't machine washable, the print washed off, and they generally got gross after a month of use and had to be thrown away. Finally, I recently splurged and spent $6.00 for a Bumkins Bib (cost for 1), and I will never go back! They are wonderful, flexible material, have an adjustable velcro neck opening for various age babies, and they are machine washable!! This is money well-spent, as they won't wear out or be thrown away. Available at Babies R Us.

12. Graco Contempo High Chair: I really like the design and price of this model. It folds very narrow, and it has multiple height and recline positions. It has a removeable tray and holes to insert high chair toys, if desired. There are various designs and colors. Retail price is $100.

13. Fisher Price Cradle Swing: This newer style swing has a two-position swing (side to side, or front to back), mobile, lights, sounds, etc. Pretty snazzy, but so is the price at around $110! I found a gently used one for $50, and it has been worth every penny. In fact, they are so popular, that I can resell mine in a few months for almost what I paid for it. So, I got to use it for less than $10! Arden loves to swing (the boys didn't), and often this is the only place I can get her to fall asleep if she's cranky. She still sleeps in it for one daytime nap daily, and I'm trying to wean her off it! We've lugged this swing (which does disassemble easily) in our van to multiple places, including our recent weekend roadtrip! Try consignment sales, newspaper listings, or Craigslist for used models. They can be hard to find since they are so popular, so you'll have to look regularly for listings and then contact the seller quickly!

14. Aden and Anais Muslin Swaddle Blankets: I am a big believer in swaddling your newborn to help calm them and help them sleep better. My colicky babies always reponded well to a combination of swaddling, swinging, and white noise. The problem with most blankets is that they are rectangular, too stiff, too heavy, or too small to adequately swaddle a baby past 8 lbs! These 44 inch square blankets are lightweight cotton muslin, and they are perfect in size, shape, and weight. I swaddled Arden to sleep in them until she was almost 5 months old! I found these described in a magazine and ordered them online http://adenandanais.com/. They come in 2-packs or 4-packs and retail for about $12 per blanket. I have used them daily and washed them countless times, and they still look new. This must be my all-time favorite, can't-live-without baby item! They come in girl prints, boy prints, or plain white.

15. Ultimate Crib Sheet: A friend told me about these with Owen, and I have used them with all my babies. Since all three of my babies have had reflux/spit-up issues, it is a big pain to change crib linens multiple times daily after a bit spit-up on the crib sheet. You will love these when your sweet baby has a stomach bug, rotovirus, or a diaper blowout in the crib! You know how it is; you have to take off the bumper pad and untie a zillion ties to get it off, then you have to lift up the heavy mattress and get the sheet off. Then, trying to get the clean sheet on is almost impossible for me with my mattress unless I have help! This crib sheet has a waterproof backing and a soft, cotton top. It simply snaps around the crib slats in six places and lays on top of your pretty crib sheet. To change, just unsnap and replace with bumper pad still in place. I always have at least two to rotate. Retail around $16, but you can find them gently used on Ebay.

My motto is to buy the best quality you can for the lowest price! As you can tell, I love Ebay very much, and it saves me a lot of money (or costs me a lot, depending on how you look at it!).

Birthday Bash!

We celebrated Owen's 7th birthday and Hudson's 4th birthday this past weekend with a joint party on August 2. We rented out a local gym and invited several families from our church as well as a few of the boys' school friends. We ended up with 18 kids plus their parents! My brother Asher flew in from Colorado for the weekend and was able to attend. Stuart's parents drove up from south Arkansas, and my mom was also in town from Bryant for the event.

The boys (and three girls) had a great time playing in the gym! Nothing else can beat running, chasing, jumping, and swinging! The highlights of the event were the inground trampolines, foam pit with swinging rope, hide-and-seek, and a few strong dads who got into the action by throwing boys into "the pit!"

After an hour of running and jumping, the 18 red-faced, sweaty kids were ready for cake and ice cream! We had a dinosaur theme party with a cake shaped like the character Chomp from the cartoon "Dinosaur King." It scored well with the kids! (Many thanks to Sam at http://www.cakesbysam.com/ for another special cake).

We survived the 102 degree heat outside, and we survived another birthday party. We were exhausted, but we have a year to recover! The boys said it was the best birthday ever, and that was worth it all!

Happy birthday, boys! You're growing up so fast!