Wanted: A Week Without Any Stress

Our lives are usually pretty hectic. Lewie Clark always jokingly says that things are never easy for the Cearley family. It seems that more often than not, we can't go much longer than a week before some stressful event occurs. Luckily, most are on the smaller scale.

This past week was, once again, full of those small, irritating things in life that cause stress. When you think of life and the big scheme of the universe, they aren't that important. However, it's hard in the moment "not to sweat the small stuff!"

First, and most significantly, we lost our video camera. We have no idea where it is. We know we used it a couple of weeks ago for Owen's track and field day, and we might have possibly had it with us on a few other outings where we didn't record with it. When we went to use it this weekend, we couldn't find it. We turned the house upside down, we looked in every nook and cranny of our cars, and Stuart drove to his office to check there. I called Channel 7 and Southside Elementary to see if it had been turned in to a lost and found. No luck. It's pretty much gone. We probably left it somewhere, and it got stolen. Neither Stuart nor I can exactly retrace every time we had it in the past two weeks, which just goes to show you that we are getting old and our memories aren't what they once were. It is so frustrating to lose something that was so expensive, but more importantly we have lost all the recorded memories of the kids that were on the tape. Those can't be replaced. If you're at a pawn shop near us and see a Panasonic camcorder for sale, please call us, so we can check the serial number!

Then, the very next day, our riding mower broke down. I always hate those unexpected expenses (right after the warrantee expires)! It is at the repair shop right now, and we are awaiting the news of how much the repair will destroy our bank account! We are hoping to get it back quickly (and cheaply) as our grass is now about a foot high!

Recently, Arden has been waking each morning by 5:45 a.m. Luckily, I figured out that covering her bedroom window with a heavy blanket to block the light will help her sleep for an hour longer in the mornings! I am not a morning person, and 6:30 a.m. is about the best I can do with a good attitude. But 5:45 a.m. -- in the summer! I was ready for a nap by 1:00 p.m.! Now, she is sleeping until 7 or so, but we have a hideous black blanket hanging in her formerly pastel "shabby chic" nursery that says "San Antonio Spurs" written across it. I'm going to have to convince Stuart that we need a pretty window treatment with blackout lining for her room . . . the blanket has got to go! Unfortunately, most guys don't value the same aesthetics as women. He thinks the blanket is fine and would rather get a Wii instead of drapes!

P.S. We went on our first excursion to Chuck E. Cheese this week (it was our very first time ever!). I found out that if you join their birthday club online, they will email you some coupons. I got a coupon for 100 tokens for $10.00. We arrived shortly after they opened at 9 a.m. and didn't order any food to save money. The games all take one token each, so we had enough for 100 games (10 cents each). After 1 1/2 hours, we had only used 60 tokens between the two boys, so we saved the remaining 40 tokens for another trip. I think that was the a pretty good entertainment value for $10.00!

Leapin' Lizards!

Arden has now begun to enjoy her newest toy -- the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo! This is a relatively new product that didn't exist when we had Hudson. I found it for 1/2 price on Craigslist and bought it from a nice person in Little Rock who also happened to work for Fellowship Bible Church! I always love to find deals like that, and it's especially neat when the person ends up being a Christian too.

This contraption is like a baby-size bungee jumper! Literally, it is a tray and seat held up by three fabric covered bungee cords. She can jump away without getting hurt. She is just now figuring out how to jump in it, and she isn't coordinated enough to work all the rainforest themed toys, but she already loves it. I wish I'd had something like this with the boys!

Summer is Here!

I haven't decided if I like summer or not! I think it scares me now! It used to be my favorite time of year when I was a teacher and before kids. Then, I had a full ten weeks off of work -- and I still got a paycheck! I remember the glorious days of sleeping in, doing house projects, meeting friends for lunch, going to the movies, attending wonderful English conferences all over the country, reading stacks of novels, taking trips with Stuart, etc. It was such FREEDOM!

Now, summer means I have three kids age 6 and under with me 24/7 for the next 12 weeks! Yikes! It means no more mother's day out until September. It means having to find a babysitter for every haircut, dental cleaning, and any other significant appointment I have for the next three months. It means taking all three kids to Walmart which takes three times as long! It means that I will have to be very vigilent about limiting their television and computer time every day. Now . . . summer is work!

But, it also means that we can have more relaxed time together as a family. We can eat dinner outside on our deck. We can lay around in our pajamas until 9 a.m. and be less strict about bedtime. We can enjoy playing outside in the yard. I can indulge in my regular Sonic Cherry Limeades -- which always taste best when it's over 90 degrees outside! All of the activities have stopped for the summmer, and there is no schedule imposed upon us by school, cub scouts, soccer, etc. For me, that means that I create a schedule (ha, ha). No, really.

If you see Owen, you can ask him how his summer "schedule" is going! He seems pretty excited that we have a set weekly schedule for TV viewing time, computer time, scheduled reading, and daily homework review activites! I wonder where he gets that need for organization?

I also came up with a plan to take the kids on an "excursion" or field trip once per week for the every week of the summer (I thought they should at least have a little fun!). They listed some places that they wanted to go, and we picked one for each week, and put them on the calendar (spreading out the more expensive ones). We will also try to find friends to go on some of our excursions with us, so that the boys can have play time with other kids their ages. At the top of our list is Chuck E. Cheese's which we are going to next Monday! Then, we have Jump Zone (a place full of those inflatable jumping things), The Wonder Place, Splash Zone, painting pottery, bowling, the zoo, Mcdonald's playground, etc. I'm clipping coupons for admissions as I can find them, and I've limited the budget to $60/month. I think it will be a lot of fun to have a new activity each week. Arden might get left with a sitter for some of the activities (like Splash Zone) since she's too young, but for the most part I will be trying to take three kids with me! Pray for me! If you're up to joining us, email me, so we can meet up on one of our outings.

Today is Owen's last day of school. Yes, we are the mean parents who made him attend on the last two half-days which were make up days for snow. That's just the teacher in me ("If school is in session, then you are going to attend!").

I hope your summer is full of new adventures and treasured memories with your kids! As Owen says, "May the Force be with you!"

Owen on the News

Owen has had a fun month this May. On Saturday, he got to tour the Channel 7 television station in Little Rock with his Pack 21 Tiger Cub group from Cabot. He got a full tour with anchor Pamela Smith, got to read off the teleprompter, sat on the set and behind the anchor desk, and learned how to read the weather maps! He thought it was great! Then, Pamela Smith gave a quick report about their tour and showed pictures of the kids on the ten o'clock news on Saturday night (May 17). We were able to get it on tape, and Owen was thrilled to see himself on television.

Owen has also been taking swimming lessons again this month. He is actually looking forward to it this year, and he has already gone completely underwater (which is amazing for him!). Owen has always had some water fear, so we have been working slowly at getting him comfortable with swimming over the past several summers. He has the same swim instructor as last June, so that made him very comfortable from the first day.

On the other hand, Hudson has NO water fear! On the first night of swimming lessons, I had all three kids with me at the pool. Hudson was so mad at me because he didn't understand why he couldn't swim like Owen. I was putting Arden down on the floor in her carseat carrier, and Hudson took off from me at full speed, in full clothing and shoes, with the intent of jumping into the pool -- in the deep end! He was determined that he was going to swim. The lifeguard saw him and grabbed him by the back of his shirt to stop him within a foot of the edge of the pool. Then, a few minutes later, he tried it again, and I ran after him! Needless to say, he has not gotten to go back to swimming lessons with us again. He will be glad when he can put on his suit in a few weeks and jump into the water. He'll probably be swimming like a fish and jumping off the diving board the first week. Maybe he should pursue a career as a Navy S.E.A.L! He definitely has no fear and loves water! (Our other thought is that he should grow up and live in France since all he wants to eat is bread, cheese, and fruit!)

Arden got her first ear infection this week, so we spent a very long weekend with her crying, fussing, and not eating or sleeping well while we counted the hours until the pediatrician's office opened on Monday morning. She had her first cold about 1 1/2 weeks ago (which she got from Hudson), and it turned into an ear infection in the same fashion as it did when the boys were young. We saw the pediatrician this morning and began antibiotics, so hopefully she will feel better soon. Maybe we won't have any more of this for awhile with the colds and viruses clearing out for summer! I'm ready to see her giggle again!

Update 5/24/08: Arden's ear infection did not clear up after 5 days on the first antiobiotic. She was still fussy and not eating well. I took her back to the pediatrican on Friday before the Memorial Day weekend since we didn't want another rough weekend when the doctor's office was closed! She ended up having a double ear infection by Friday! So, the doctor changed her medication to a stronger antibiotic which we began Friday for another ten days. So far, it seems to be helping.

One ear infection = 2 doctor's visits, 3 hours of driving back and forth to Little Rock, $70 in co-pays, 15 days on antibiotics.

A happy baby = priceless!

Track and Field Day

We just completed another highlight of first grade -- track and field day! Luckily, the impending rain held off for the event, and this morning Owen got to compete with all the other first graders. He was so excited -- mainly about bringing 50 cents to buy fruit snacks at the concession stand! He won three first place ribbons for the 50 yard dash, sack race, and the boys' relay! It's fun to see him have so much fun and to remember those days (of long, long ago!) when we had special events like this ourselves. After the morning events, the school gave the students a two hour lunch break, and most parents accompanied their child off campus to eat. I took Owen to his favorite spot -- Burger King (chosen because he wanted to see what new Indiana Jones toy would be in the kids' meal!). He got to play in the indoor playground with at least five other boys from his first grade class who met us there.

I enjoyed visiting with the other moms and catching up on the school news -- who is pregnant, which teachers are leaving, which teachers will be the second grade teachers next year, which VBS our kids will attend, who is taking swim lessons, etc. It was fun to be connected to that community again, and I realized how much I've missed it! Last year, I was up at Owen's school 1-2 days each week, and I was the room mom who organized all the class events and parties. I knew every child in his class very well and could recognize each of their parents. This year has been different since I had a baby. I couldn't volunteer due to my pregnancy complications last semester, and now I am unable to do much at the school due to lack of childcare for Arden. I've missed seeing these other moms and being more involved in his school!

I'm thankful for Owen's public school. I'm thankful for his dear, sweet teacher Mrs. Bradley and how much she genuinely loves kids. I'm thankful for the mom I met today who has adopted two abused children and given them a loving and stable home. Hopefully, second grade will be as good as this year has been!

Waiting . . . patiently?

Waiting patiently is hard for me, and maybe it is for you too. I think part of it is our society and the way that we are always accustomed to getting what we want, when we want it, with little to no wait. Additionally, I think we have a self-centered mindset and ultimately view life as being all about "me." Fast food restaurants advertise their speed and how you can get it "your way." Microwaves zap food so quickly that you never have time to leave the room before it's ready. DVR's and TiVo allow us to record any show on television with the touch of the button and watch with just a click. We don't even have to sit through the commercials; we can just fast forward through anything we don't want! If only life could be like that: record what you want, skip the bad stuff, and play when convenient.

If patience were a muscle, then mine is very out of shape, flabby, and weak. Everything about our daily lives imprints upon us that things should be fast and immediate. We lose our patience while we sit in traffic, we are frustrated when the delivery pizza takes too long to arrive, we really get irritated when the internet is down for 30 minutes! My children already expect fast service, immediate results, and instant gratification. How can we really expect to teach our children patience when we ourselves can't wait and be still?

I think God's plan for helping us to mature and rely on Him involves the process of waiting. Even though this season can be difficult, it is one of the only ways to learn about God. When things come quickly or easily, we rarely do more than mumble a half-hearted, "Thank you, Lord" under our breath. However, when we are forced to wait, we learn to come to the end of ourselves and begin to turn to God for strength, comfort, and peace. We may not get the results we desire, but our hearts can be changed to accept what God desires during this process. God commands us to, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 47:10). Part of knowing God involves resting in patience, not getting immediate results, and learning to wait.

It's hard to wait when the pregnancy test is negative for the fifteenth time.

It's hard to wait when you really desire to get married, and you are still single.

It's hard to wait when your husband lost his job, and three months later, he's still looking for work.

It's hard to wait when the house you need to sell is still on the market after 11 months.

It's hard to wait when the doctor says that there might be a medical problem with your child.

We wonder, "Where is God in this?"

I think the answer is that He's right there, next to us, wanting us to simply wait and trust Him. God can only develop patience in us by letting us exercise that muscle. He promises that He "longs to be gracious to you, he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" (Isaiah 30:18). So, I will wait . . . patiently.

Gratitude

I'll be the first to admit that whenever I am under stress, I usually don't handle it well. I worry and fret, I develop insomnia, I get irritable. I'm really trying to do a better job of resting in God's peace and not letting the small or large issues of life get to me so much. I watched a segment of an interview with Amy Grant the other day, and she said that when she begins to feel the tensions of life affecting her, she has benefitted from the act of gratitude. She said that she makes a written or verbal list of all the things in her life that she is thankful for, and it puts the current stress into perspective.

I guess I'll try it and see . . .

I am thankful for:

1. my God who has saved me and given me eternal life. Without that gift, nothing else would matter anyway.
2. my husband who always puts up with me, loves me unconditionally, tells me that I'm beautiful even with no makeup and "morning hair," and is the smartest person I know.
3. my three children -- all of whom are miracles for a woman who has had a diagnosis of infertility!
4. my fun and wonderful part-time teaching job which I am thankful to be able to do from home (online)
5. Stuart's job because unlike my little job, it actually pays our bills!
6. my extended family
7. my close friends who always lend a hand, pray with me, offer to watch my kids, make me feel appreciated and loved, and make me laugh
8. the opportunity that I was given to go to college and graduate school. My education has made a huge difference in my life.
9. my house
10. my new mini-van (even though I used to say I would never be caught driving one!)
11. the memories I have of my time with my dad
12. Sonic cherry limeade in the summertime
13. chocolate (specifically Toblerone)
14. Netflix
15. the smell of a baby sleeping on my shoulder
16. the fact that Arden is now sleeping all night most of the time!
17. Owen's elementary school and Hudson's great preschool
18. my good health
19. the internet (I honestly couldn't function without a computer!)
20. hearing my kids' laughter
21. the fact that I finally found the "perfect" diaper bag by the third child!
22. rainfall that comes right when I need to water my grass
23. chocolate covered glazed donuts from Daylight Donuts
24. contemporary Christian praise music which always changes my focus
25. the fact that I can finally fit back into my favorite jeans after baby #3!

What would your list say?