Flu-ish

On Saturday afternoon, my throat began to get sore. I started feeling achy by dinner, and by bedtime I was miserable. I was up every hour all night long with a raging sore throat that wouldn't allow me to sleep. No medication seemed to help. Luckily, by this morning, the sore throat turned into more of a swollen feeling, but I got really woozy and ran fever.

I don't know if it's the flu or not, but it is flu-like symptoms. I have stayed in bed most of the day except to help with Arden when needed. She doesn't like Daddy as much as Mommy these days! My head has been pounding every time I stand up, but I think I feel a bit better now that I did this morning.

I am supposed to have parent/teacher conferences tomorrow and Tuesday nights from 4:30 to 7:30 p.m., and I knew that I wasn't in any condition to do two, twelve hour work days after this weekend. I put in for a half day sub for tomorrow, so I only have to go and teach one class tomorrow from 10-11:30 a.m. I think I can manage that, and it will save me from having to use a whole sick day. I will see how I feel at 4:30 if I return for parent/teacher conferences or not. My principal has said I could miss if I still feel too bad tomorrow afternoon.

I am hoping to be almost all better by Tuesday, but please pray! It seems like someone in our family has been sick with flu symptoms for almost every week since early September. First, Arden got sick for 4 days right around Labor Day. Then Stuart got the H1N1 flu very badly the next week, and he missed 8 days of work with it! He was much, much more seriously ill than I am. Then Owen got sick a couple of weeks ago for 24 hours, but he didn't miss school. Last week Hudson missed two days of school due to fever and flu symptoms. Now me. Ugh. Hopefully, this will pass soon!

We're still here!

I think the honeymoon period is over, and I've hit the wall of exhaustion. I need a vacation! Mornings have become the hardest time. When my alarm goes off way too early, and the bed is so warm and cozy, I think to myself how much I would love to just be able to stay home instead of getting up and rushing everyone out of the house in the next 75 minutes. I love my job and my students, but it is really hard to be a working mom. Thankfully, I have a job I enjoy and am paid well, so I try not to complain when I'm exhausted because I think about the people that have hard, manual labor jobs and make minimum wage, and I'm thankful for what I get to do.

I know that I was the one who made the choice to go back to work this year, but I made the choice based on impending financial need since we had all but exhausted our savings after our move and many large repairs that came up unexpectedly with the car, house, and medical bills. I don't think I would have considered applying for a job if we hadn't been dealing with financial stress because I really enjoyed staying home. With the unemployment rate hovering nationally close to 10%, I know there are many, many people who would be grateful to get a great job this year or who have a spouse who has been laid off, so I am counting my blessings and am thankful that I can work in this great profession in a top school district!

However, it's an almost impossible job to work full-time and do all the stay-at-home things, too! I just know that my life before with two kids at home and 1 in regular school was a piece of cake compared with working from 8-4 every day and still doing all the "mom stuff" like cooking, cleaning, errands, laundry, etc. in the evenings and weekends. I used to have time to attend a Bible study, turn on the television, call friends, or scrapbook (sort of). I don't know how long I can keep up this pace, but I'm thankful that we're paying off big things each month and will be making some headway back to having an solid emergency fund again. You have to do what you have to do, and God will direct us in the future!

Hudson had the swine flu or something like it this week, so he missed 2 days of school. He ran high fever, but after two days was well enough to return to school. My junior high has had a 15% absentee rate this week with sick kiddos. I have had around 17 students absent every day with flu symptoms! It's just crazy. I got the kids the regular flu shot, but we are still debating if the H1N1 vaccine is safe enough for us to feel comfortable using it on the kids.

Owen had a third grade school performance on Thursday and did a great job singing patriotic songs. He also performed in his afterschool program and danced with a group to Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Ah, that brought back many high school memories for me with the single glove and the moon walk!

Arden is doing really well at her daycare. It has been such a blessing to have a small setting with an absolutely wonderful teacher. Arden has friends that she plays with and talks about, and she hasn't been sick or missed a school day since I moved her. She runs in the room in the morning, and I can barely get her to leave with me at 4:00! She is waking up happy for the most part, and I think she is adjusting to the different hours. Sometimes Arden is still clingy and needs "mama time" a lot more in the evenings. If she has a cold or is more tired, I can tell a big difference in her separation anxiety, but it is getting much better than it was when I first went back to work. She is talking in sentences now, and she has pretty much given up the high chair to sit in a booster seat at the big table. She wants to walk in the parking lot holding hands now, and she is becoming such a big girl! I can't believe she'll be two soon!

People around here are already decorating for Christmas, and all the stores have decorations in them already. We are waiting until Thanksgiving week to tackle the Christmas decor and tree, but I'm excited to have my decorations out this year. It's been TWO YEARS since we put up our real Christmas tree and all the decorations! Two years ago, I was about to give birth to Arden any day, so we opted for a small tree and minimal decor, so we wouldn't have to put it all up right after we came home from the hospital. It was a good choice as she arrived on December 27, and I was thankful for the ease of putting away Christmas items. Last year, we moved from Cabot to Bentonville on December 29. We had packers at our house on December 27, so we didn't put up a lot of decor since we were in the middle of packing. It will be nice to have a "normal" holiday season this year.

We're looking forward to Halloween this week, as the boys' schools have a costume parade and fall parties on Friday. Our church has a big festival planned for Saturday too. Owen is going to be Obi Wan Kanobi, Hudson will be a cowboy, and Arden will be a ladybug. It should be fun!

Fall is in the Air

It's been difficult for me to find time to blog since going back to work. Somehow, like so many other things, it gets pushed back to the bottom of my "to do" list since the basic necessities of eating, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. take priority.

School is going really well. I am almost finished with my first novel The Outsiders, and I have really enjoyed teaching it. I missed literature so much during the past six years when I was teaching at the community college. I only taught composition, and we discussed brief essays, but I haven't taught a novel in six years! At first, I almost forgot how to approach it, but it slowly started coming back to me, and now I feel comfortable again. I think that it will even be a better unit next year once I can change a few things and improve what worked and didn't work. School is flying by, and I can't believe that the first quarter ends in 1 1/2 weeks with the first report card already.

Fall is already here, and the leaves are starting to turn colors very slightly. The air is very cool in the mornings, and you almost have to wear a jacket before 10 a.m. I love this time of year, and it's been fun to pull out my long sleeved clothing and sweaters. Stuart is enjoying football season and is watching the Razorbacks play right now! I have enjoyed doing some garage sale shopping this month, and I got a few good deals today at some nearby neighborhood sales. I found Arden several Gymboree items and a pair of Lelli Kelly shoes and a pair of Primigi shoes for .75 cents each! If you know these boutique brands for girls, then you know what a deal I scored! I also got 3 infant Cabbage Patch dolls for Arden that were .50 cents each, and they still had tags attached. She has really gotten into baby dolls lately, and we didn't have any of those types of toys from the boys. She has carried them around all day and rocked them, fed them, and acted very much like a little mama.

Arden is still doing great at her daycare, and we've now finished four full weeks at the new school! She hasn't been sick one day since we moved here there, so I am thankful for that. I know that illness will strike at some point, but I am glad to know that it isn't a constant thing for her so far. I am planning on taking a sick day next week in order to take all three kids to the pediatrician to get flu shots during the first week they are giving them, plus I will be taking both boys to the dentist for cleanings. It is more of a challenge to fit all these necessary appointments into a routine with a job, and I will have to start getting our appointments coordinated for the next round with summer and Christmas breaks.

Stuart and I will be starting to lead a new body life (ie: community group) with our church every other Sunday night, and we kick that off next Sunday. We have three other families whom we know that all wanted to do a Sunday night group, and we live near each other. I am excited to be in a group with these families since it will give us a natural opportunity to build deeper friendships here in Bentonville.

Stuart's birthday is this week on October 9, so give him a hard time if you see him or talk to him!

A Kiss and a Prayer

On Thursday, the firetruck came to Arden's preschool/daycare for a themed week that they were doing on community helpers. Fortunately, I had my prep period that day during that exact time in the morning it would be there, so I walked across the parking lot from my junior high building to her school. I wasn't sure how she would act once she saw me since this was the first time I have visited her during the school day and let her know I was there. Usually, I spy on her unseen, so that she won't melt down and think I'm there to pick her up. Sometimes she still has some separation anxiety at drop off (even at church), so I didn't know if I would end up having a crying child to leave behind when it was time for the children to go back to class.

I brought my camera, hoping to get some cute pictures. Arden was already about to be lifted into the firetruck when I arrived. I got some pictures of the group and the outside of the truck before she even noticed me in the crowd. I enjoyed seeing her in her own environment, oblivious to my presence. She was giggling with the other children inside the truck, and I was so amazed at how old she appeared to me all of sudden. She was listening to the teachers, obeying cues, and sitting still.

When Arden did finally see me, it definitely wasn't the reaction that I expected. I thought she would run to me, or she would cry, or she would want to be picked up. None of the above. She waved and said, "Mama," then she turned back to her friends. At first, I felt a bit rejected, but immediately I realized that this is the reaction I was hoping for. She is happy at school. Finally. After attending two daycare locations in just a five week period, she is now getting settled. She feels secure, and we have found a place which is a great fit. She doesn't need me to rescue her, and she is enjoying her day. My prayers were being answered.

When the whole class was posing for a final picture in front of the firetruck, Arden began to hug another boy from the older toddler class. There were three different classes outside, so I didn't recognize him, and I have no idea if Arden had ever seen him before! I thought it was cute to see her giggle and bear hug this little boy, so I whipped out my camera to capture the moment. Just as I snapped the picture, Arden planted a big kiss right on this poor boy's cheek! I can't believe I caught it on film when I wasn't even trying. It was a hilarious sight to see.

After the final picture, the teachers began to lead the kids back into the building to get ready for lunch. The fireman was waving goodbye as the little toddlers trudged toward the front doors with their red, plastic fireman hats in tow, and I didn't know what Arden's reaction would be. Would she run back to me and think we were going home? Would she cry? Would they have to carry her inside kicking and screaming? Once again, she surprised me. She lined up with her other friends and ran towards the door willingly. I stepped back out of sight and watched her from behind a parked car. She never looked back.

And there was a smile on her face the whole time.

A Week of the Flu

I keep thinking that one of these weeks will be normal. This last one wasn't it.

Stuart started feeling bad on Monday afternoon, and by the middle of the night he was deathly ill. On Monday morning, he had a high fever and called in sick to work. I went on to school and took care of getting the children to their schools. Stuart called me at 4:00 and told me that he had just been to the doctor, and that was a surprise since he usually never goes voluntarily. He said he progressively felt worse during the day and thought he might have pneumonia or something. It turns out he had the H1N1 flu.

Stuart has been home sick all week. He is slowly recovering, but it is almost as if when some symptoms get better, then he gets other ones. I am hopeful he can go back to work on Monday, but it is still touch and go. My week was spent identifying with single, working mothers who have no other adult to help them. Stuart remained quarantined in our guest bedroom for the better part of the week, so he wouldn't infect the rest of us. I began taking Tamiflu, but our pediatrician didn't think it was indicated for the children. Plus, the liquid form for the young kids that had to be compounded was over $180 for their prescriptions.

I have used so many Clorox wipes this week that I don't think I'll ever like the smell of them again. So far, no one else is sick, although Owen is dragging tonight and felt a little warm. I am hoping he doesn't wake up tomorrow with the full blown flu.

Needless to say, it was a long week. However, we have survived many things already in the 4 weeks since school has started, and I reentered the classroom. We've had Stuart's dad get diagnosed with cancer. Arden got the flu. Stuart got the flu (worse than Arden). I pulled Arden out of the first daycare, and I am now trying out #2. I hope it slows down now. I don't want to be burned out by Thanksgiving.

The positive side of this week was Arden's transition to her new daycare. She seems to like it so much more, and I have been thrilled with it this past week. She never cried a single time at drop off, and they have said she is happy all day. She has done crafts, painting, had storytime, and made a new friend "Chessa." I have visited her every day on my prep period or lunch and gotten to spy on her. I enjoyed seeing her sitting at the table with her hands folded while the teacher read the boys and girls a picture book. She looked so grown up and attentive! There have only been 5-6 other children with her all week, and she wasn't bitten once! So far, she is also healthy after one week there. I'm praising God for this bright spot in our week! I spent some time this morning going around to our neighborhood garage sales and was able to pick up more board books for her daycare classroom, as I am trying to help stock it full with good books. They have some books, and I am pleased to see how much the teachers read with the children. I want to help make more books accessible to her and the other children there, especially since literacy is my teaching area! Luckily, I can usually always get lots of books for .25 to .50 cents at garage sales or my favorite thrift store.

Please continue to pray for our family's health and that none of the kids get the flu.

Shopping Ups and Downs

The Rhea Lana sale ended, and I am loving my 65 items which I bought for Arden and Owen. I should have looked for some jeans for Hudson, now that I actually pulled out my bins of Owen's old clothes from the attic. Oh well. It was a crazy night to shop since Arden was sick, and Stuart was trying to take her and the boys to the pediatrician. I sold all but 5 items of the 125 items which I put in, and I cleared over $300 profit. That made me feel like the effort was worth it (not to mention that it allowed me to shop at the presale). If you haven't consigned or shopped at the large children's consignment sales in your area, you really need to try it. Yes, it is crowded. Yes, you will have to plan to stand in line for a long time (I heard over an hour in the Little Rock Rhea Lana, but I only waited in line 20 minutes in Rogers). I averaged around $5.00 per item for each of the 65 items which I purchased, and they were all name brands like Gymboree, Children's Place, Gap,and Stride Rite. I only spent $60 above what I earned in selling my old clothes. Yep, that is only $60 for my children's entire fall wardrobe!! Any odds and ends or more shoes for Arden will be filled in with used items off Ebay throughout the winter.

Now, I wish I could go to a great consignment sale for clothing for me! I have lived in shorts, jeans, and yoga pants for the better part of the past six years as a SAHM. Now, I am teaching again, and we are only allowed to wear jeans with the school shirt on designated "spirit days." I literally own three pairs of pants that fit me right now! So, I went shopping on Sunday to find some pants, and two hours later I came home with one pair and $60 less in the bank. I am very hard to fit in pants. Yes, I am skinny and can't help that. It's genetic and nothing I try to attain. In fact, I purposefully have to eat ice cream or high calorie foods daily to keep up with my metabolism, or I would become downright gaunt if I don't pay attention! I just have a hard time keeping weight on. The negative side to my figure (or lack thereof) is that I have a long waist, short legs, and no curves. Most pants gap hugely at the waistband if they fit my hips because I have a small waist. The few pants that do fit me are often styled to the tastes of a teenager and are cut way too low or tight for someone who is 39, a teacher, and a mother of three. The pants I just bought were a 2 petite at Ann Taylor. They only had THREE entire pairs of pants in the entire store in my size! Two were too low on the waistband, so I left with one pair. I tried Gap, Banana Republic, and White House/Black Market, and very few people make pants in my size or stock more than one pair since the demand is low. If they do, then they must be sized for models who are 5'11 because they will be 35 inches in the inseam and require hemming and alterations. I'm trying to avoid paying for that after the ridiculous prices of the pants to begin with! It is frustating. So, I will probably get online and order this exact pair of Ann Taylor pants in two more colors. It's hard to be fashionable when you can't get clothing that fits. Too bad I'm not Arden; I could have had 65 items for the price of my one pair of pants!

Appearances can be deceiving

Whew, what a week it has been!

One big thing happened this week; I'm moving Arden to a different daycare. Yep, only three weeks into it, and I just don't feel that it will get better . . . or better fast enough. Basically, I just think that she can't handle a room with 14 toddlers in it, even though they have two teachers, and it meets the state ratio of at least 7:1 (or something like that). Overall, fourteen kids means more aggression, more fighting, more biting, and more germs.

So, I am leaving the fancy castle daycare with its security systems, doors with codes, wooden floors, indoor climbing room, and luxurious playgrounds for a much more modest center that is run by my school district and right next door (as in I can walk there in 2 minutes) from my junior high. They share a parking lot, in fact. She might not have the newest building with the turrets on top, but hopefully she will be taken care of better. That's what counts, you know? I got suckered in by appearances because the other facility wooed me with its poshness. The BMWs parked in front helped reassure me that the rich people wouldn't settle for mediocre care. However, in Arden's situation, it just hasn't been a good fit. I tried to overlook some of the disorganization of the room and the fact that every day I had to hunt for all her belongings that were strewn all over the room. But then, it started. Yep, seven bad bites in four days was pretty bad. It was worse that the teachers never even noticed it happened.Every day, I saw the bad bites and had to report them. Then, she got the flu this week and has been out since Tuesday. So, I had had enough.

I had visited this other center earlier, and it was down to these two when I made my original choice. I revisited it today, and I see so many more benefits to it now. The class has six kids! That, in itself, is enough to jump up and down for. Hopefully, she won't be eaten alive there, or at least the occasional bite will be noticed and cared for. Also, we are hoping she will get sick less often with less kids in the room.

I don't know for sure if I'm making the right choice, and so much of her experience can't be known until you actually start attending the program. One person's good experience doesn't mean that your experience will be the same based on your child's personality and the individual teachers. I wouldn't say that her former school was bad for every child in every room there, but it wasn't good for her. From what I know, I love the new teacher, and I can walk over every day on my prep period or lunch to check on her. Believe me, I will. This teacher does art and various craft projects with the kids every day and has student's artwork on the walls. Why didn't I notice that before instead of only seeing the age of the older walls?

I'm learning that appearance isn't everything. What is beautiful on the outside is often shallow and deceiving. What matters is the heart, in all circumstances. I need to work on that one too. But for now, I'm praying that the heart of this new school is better for my little girl.